You know how every time you meet an anorexic they will do that thing of laughing nervously and say: "Oh my gosh, no! I'm not anorexic -- I eat all the time."Usually I just frown at them and try to channel whatever fatherly aura I might have to communicate to them that I know they are lying. Tonight I decided what I'd really like to do is say: "Yeah, I guess you're right. No way you could be anorexic with those fat arms of yours."Or, maybe I won't say...
The other day I was watching Samantha Bee's "Daily Show" report on whether America is ready for a female president, and the thing that struck me was the fact that all the news orginizations were asking the same question in pretty much the same way, and how stupid this was.Bee did a good job of pointing out the stupidity of the question by responding to it with stupidity (the best part in her report is when the feminist talking head breaks in mid-sentence to help Bee choose a blouse), but when you think about it, even the phrasing of the question is stupid.By asking, "Is America ready for a woman president?" the question suggests that a woman president is a bad thing. Almost always when the phrase "Is America ready for..." is used, it is followed by something bad: "Is America ready for...
A vision of my 80-year-old...
The child bride is enjoying so much having her sisters visit that she has decided one of them should stay. In light of the immigration issues that raises we've decided that the most expedient way to keep Ya-Ya here is to marry her off to a citizen of the European Union, mail-order-bride style.But in this case, you don't have to be some wealthy fella willing to pay for false affection -- you simply have to be someone that Laura would want to marry. Which means that you should probably be Mike Phillips or Gordon D'Arcy .Ya-Ya is charming young lady who enjoys dancing, singing, photography and verbally assaulting her brothers-in-law. She can speak Spanish fluently and is instilled with a cooking skill that, while not equal to that of the child bride, is certainly better than any of that...
And suddenly Hilary Duff is my favourite manufactured pop songstress ever.I know there are one or two gay guys who read my blog, so I won't have to tell them, but it's possible that some of you will not have heard of Hilary Duff, erstwhile star of the Disney-manufactured "Lizzie McGuire."Like previous Disney spawn, our gal Hilary has broken free of her clean-cut image, developed an eating disorder and is now churning out simple pop songs designed to make it sound like she's not churning out simple pop songs.None of that matters to me, though, thanks to her latest track, "Danger." Well, I assume it's her latest -- how the hell would I know? It is, at least, the most recent (and only) Hilary Duff track that I've heard.I've gone to the trouble to upload the track*. Take a quick listen to it...
Suddenly I can't remember the name of the furniture outlet that has that whore-like blonde selling hot tubs during Vikings games. I think she also does the same in Indiana. I don't actually NEED to know this, but it's bugging me that I can't...
This video just about made me wet my pants with laughter. It is taken from a segment in the programme about me that aired Tuesday (and will air again Saturday at 21:15 on S4C). It was put together by consistently brilliant fellow Welsh blogger Dafydd. For the most part it's pretty self explanatory, but if you don't speak Welsh, "Pwy ydy hi?" means "Who is...
Our first summer in St. Paul was particularly hot and our apartment did not have air conditioning. One day I came home and found the child bride making dinner wearing nothing but an apron. I responded as you would expect -- with glee. But when I attempted to grab her she was having none of it. She hadn't been naked to be sexy, but because she was that...
I dreamt last night that I was staying at Eric and Kristin's cabin and playing Kubb in the yard when Kristin drove up in a white early 90s Renault; her passenger was an ex-girlfriend of mine.She (the ex-girlfriend, not Kristin) had Kool-Aid red hair, so I had to stare at her for a second, but then it registered and there was a rush of excitement as I lifted her up in one of those "Oh, my gosh, I haven't seen you in ages"-type hugs.It was actually her, not an amalgam of female features attached to a name, as can often happen in dreams. My memory of her was so strong that I could smell her as we hugged. Her smell is scored deep in my memory.Dr. Handy once told me the technical term for a person who remembers based on his or her senses, but I have since forgotten that term because it was...
Yesterday I managed to do what I always to with women: fuck it up. I went to the Sandwich Shop and got served by SSG, and she spent ages on my sandwich, slicing up olives individually (if the shop likes you, they slice up spherical accompnyments) and laying them on my sandwich. I even managed a funny compliment: "I don't whether to eat or frame that sandwhich!". Okay, it's hardly hilarious, but it's a safe way to make her laugh, can't really launch into an aristrocrats style joke with people I don't know, can I? Nevertheless, she giggled and began conversation.
"So you've been coming in here quite a lot recently, what do you do?"
"I'm a web designer."
"Cool!"
At this point I remembered advice that Sarah gave me: ask questions to make them like you, as then you'll seem interested. So I...
Hi. I feel like I've been neglecting my blog a bit recently, and not really explaining what I've been doing. So, to hopefully provide you with a bit of an update, here's what's been happening.
Well, work is continuing nicely. I passed my 3 month trial period and they're keeping me on, which is good. First time ever I feel like I'm getting a bit of money behind me, and I don't know what to do with it. I'd love to go on a holiday somewhere, but the original plan (which was to stay with Guy in Buckinghamshire for a few days) looks set to be breaking, what with Guy's new job going swimmingly. It's quite bad really, as work are asking me when am I going to take my first holiday. Truth is I have no idea.
It's not all doom and gloom. Something has given me a bit of confidence. Maybe it's the...
